Tangerine Banana Cream Dream

Today I woke up very toxic.  I have been going through something that I cannot explain very well or find much information about online.  This is only my third time experiencing it; once in 2007, once in December around this time and then this morning.  In the past 30-days however I have experienced mild forms of it, but it did not make me panic.

What happens is, I will wake up and feel cold all over (duh it's winter), but it's deeper than that; I actually feel tingly, numb, and nervous.  The next thing you know everything seems to be going really fast around me, I start panicking and my head feels tingly as well as the rest of my body, then my heart starts beating really fast and things start getting blurry.  There are a few things I think are contributing to it:

• I'm taking Zoloft (in 2007 when this happened I was actually trying to ween myself off of it)
• It has happened after catching up on sleep that I didn't get the day before (the night before I only got 2 hours of sleep... ugh)
• It has happened after I ate really really crappy/toxic after a pattern of eating healthy.

It seems as if my answers are right in front of me, however it makes me really sad because I honestly just want to feel better and not have to worry about these things.  So many people I know just eat crappy all the time and don't care and they feel fine (or at least I think they do).  I suffer from anxiety disorder and am very very sensitive to changes in my body.  If I ween myself off of zoloft again then I have to worry that I may end up falling back into that horrible worrisome/anxious feeling that cripple me everyday (not to mention the unnecessary thoughts and feeling loss of reality).  P.s. that has been happening lately even though I am on zoloft and it scares me even more (usually when I am not getting enough sleep).

Back to the point; after I calmed down this morning and my body felt better again, I decided to look for the freshest foods available here at my parents house.  I am on vacation and have really gotten off track, but luckily they have tons of fruits and veggies but they all usually get thrown away.  So the other day I posted a question on Koya Webb's wall (Koya is a raw fitness model); I told her that my parents wanted me to throw away this whole bag of tangerines and I wanted to do something with them.  She told me that I could blend them with bananas and make orange dream ice cream.  Yum!  So that is what I had for breakfast!

When I tell you that was the yummiest breakfast I have ever had, I am not lying!  It felt like I was having ice cream and that I was doing something "bad".... but a few bites in I felt full and fulfilled.  The bittersweet contrast was that my sick father who has at least five major health problems was sitting right across from me at the table is eating a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich, as well as a big bowl of cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast. (More on my father later, but it's a very sad situation to see people who poison themselves when the problems they are facing are due to the "sad" [Standard.American.Diet] that they are following when they know it isn't working for them).

So today I am inspired and motivated to treat my body in the best way possible in any way I can.  I started cutting out dairy last month and now I am going to cut out processed sugar because I am sure I must have eaten my weight in it yesterday (I was in Tijuana and there is soooooo much candy and junk food to eat over there).  Today I am detoxing and will only eat raw foods until dinner time.  At dinner I will just eat a light cooked dinner.  Tomorrow I have to attend a memorial service and I am not sure how I will do eating after, but I am going to slowly start making my transition to the raw foods diet again.  It is the best possible way to live and there are so many wonderful people out there to look up to online and in the community.  I just have to surround myself with them.

A few more days on vacation.  I hope to blog here as much as possible, especially when I move to Columbus in a few days, where I will start a new life; I am very excited about this transition!  Thanks for reading and happy 2011!!!!