The Universe is full of miracles!!

I thought a lot about my goals last night, especially the one about helping the needy when I get on my feet.  But the key word is "get on my feet".  I am blessed beyond measure and I know I never need to want for need for anything because God's got me covered... but today I woke up with the inspiration to push myself a little bit further.

My roommate offered me her bicycle to use until the spring and even though it's very cold outside I knew that in order to get things in order I would have to push through and work hard.  So I got on this little ass bike and went to my local food pantry to get some food in hopes that they would have at least some produce there.  I'm grateful for whatever I can get right now!

What I thought would be a 25 minute bike ride turned into an hour and a half of being lost, freezing, and sometimes walking this "heavy" "little" bike around.  But finally..... ahhh finally I found the place.  As soon as I got in, I took my outer layers off and my hair/body was drenched in sweat!  My lungs are hurting a little from breathing in the cold air and all of that cardio that I am not used to.

They took me in and allowed me to "grocery shop".. I got a few produce items, (YAY!) and then I was taken into one of the pantry rooms that had mostly canned and perishable items.  I got a bunch of things and tried to make the best "dairy free" item decisions I could.  I got TONS of food and I took photos so here they are:

The good news hasn't ended yet!! So I attempted to get all of this in a huge trash bag to carry on my bike back home, but as I was trying to cycle away, it kept breaking, and stuff was falling everywhere.  I just had a huge smile on my face and was determined to get home.  This WONDERFUL SUPERWOMAN who was a volunteer at this place had a pickup truck and she was walking to her truck and she saw me struggling.  She offered me a ride home.  *tears* how nice of her??  On the ride home we talked and she told me about the community gardens she volunteers at!  You see?!

So it is true that when you push yourself and work hard, God will always align you with what you need to get by and the people who are there along the way to help you out.  I am so happy and peaceful right now.  I know that no matter what, I will be okay!!  I'm loving my decision to move to Columbus. 

Not bad, eh? I'm impressed but still I see the need for creating my own nonprofit in the future, but in the meantime I am going to use the services as I can and volunteer as much as possible.   This is exciting.  And my motto of the year is: "Life is like a game show; just play the game and challenge yourself and you will WIN".  I'm PLAYING this game!!  Oh yea and smile through it!!  Someone is always watching. :O)

Wishing I could get started!

I moved to Columbus last week and I came out here on a wish and a prayer, so I am basically living off of beans and rice as well as whatever anyone else offers me.  With that being said, I am definitely not vegetarian, vegan, or RAW at that!

I'm frustrated because I fell back into my old eating habits and I know even the slightest choice not to eat dairy would help me, but my new roommate has tons of cheese and cheesy things and since she said I could eat whatever I wanted for now, I have let myself go.

The job hunt is still in progress and I am looking forward to working so that I can start purchasing produce again.  I have literally not eaten any produce since last Wednesday.  I cannot believe it!  I'm craving a banana like it's nobodies business!!

I am proud of me though... I called my local grocery store and asked if they had any fruit or veggies that they could donate to me that may be past shelf life.  Unfortunately the no nonsense manager said that it's a liability and they cannot do that.  I know that isn't true though because there are some stores that will, but obviously she had a stick up her butt so I just let it go instead of dumpster diving lol.  I couldn't do it if I wanted to though because their dumpster area is under lock and key!

I've been looking at food pantries and possibly getting on food stamps until I start making enough money to buy food again.  It's crazy to me how food pantries offer the most unhealthy items!  It's nice that they have those things for people who are literally starving and homeless, but I don't like the fact that people don't donate fresh foods, organic foods, or nuts/seeds/whole grains.  Could this be why most people in poverty are obese?  I conclude so.

One of these days when I get back on my feet I am going to make sure I start some type of non-profit that changes the game.  I want to work with plus-size people who are under the poverty line and help them with eating raw-vegan and working them out.  It's not fair; it's inequality of the most injustice.

On a brighter note, I joined in a conference with Koya Webb the other night and was inspired to create a raw vision board.  That is what I am in the process of doing.  I've also e-mailed Jinjee Talifero and asked her a question about being pregnant and weaning off of zoloft and transitioning to raw foods for health.  Will explain more about that later, but for now I am looking forward to getting a response and doing more research online.

There is this new book out called Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr.  I read the first chapter for free and you can too here: http://scr.bi/eZkVtb  - It's very exciting and I think on my first paycheck I will be able to start eating on that 60/40 plan.  Eventually work myself up to the 80/20 and maybe one day 100% raw (at least on most days).

For random thoughts, quotes, and links you can follow me on twitter. http://twitter.com/rawvegandreams

Peace and love.

Second day and I feel great!

Yesterday I ate about 80% raw.  I did a fruit detox all day until 7:30pm and for dinner I ate Japanese food (teriyaki chicken, rice, a cucumber/avocado roll, and some miso soup).  I also did a personal training session for a friend who has not worked out in years!  Actually as she put it, she has NEVER worked out.  We had a long conversation about raw foods and nutrition and I pushed her to her limit in the gym.  She could not stop raving and that made me proud.  It also made me realize that this is what I want to be doing again.  I want to be a curvy fitness trainer like my girl in NYC, Diane Williams, who owns a fitness center called Curvy Goddess.

I have been a personal trainer since 2000 when I lost my first 100 pounds.  At that time I did it with the wrong intentions; to get skinny so I could be a model.  But when I found out that I could be a plus-size model and not starve myself I kinda let go and over the years through challenges, I have gained most of my weight back.  I'm still down by 20 pounds, but I have a new life and new intentions.  I never work out and eat healthy so as to loose weight... I do it so as to feel great!  And I do.  I work out all the time and I love it! I love training.  I love helping other people learn that they too can love their body at any size, but just do the right things for it... sometimes that does include losing weight, but if you are doing the right things for your body it will naturally get better (i.e. losing weight and healing itself).

I'm not sure how much raw food I will be able to consume today because I have to go to a funeral and I know what kind of food is provided at the gathering that follows.  I just woke up and had my banana tangerine raw dream again.  It is such a refreshing thing to wake up to!  This time I added cinnamon and it reminded me of oatmeal.  A couple more days and i'll be back in Columbus and able to jump right into the raw community there.

I have another training session later with a friend who is out of shape.  I'll be taking her for a nice jog in the neighborhood; up and down the nice hills here in Spring Valley.  It will be a welcomed workout for myself too, since funerals are so sad and the food will also be so s.a.d. - will touch back in later, until then check out my new twitter account!

Tangerine Banana Cream Dream

Today I woke up very toxic.  I have been going through something that I cannot explain very well or find much information about online.  This is only my third time experiencing it; once in 2007, once in December around this time and then this morning.  In the past 30-days however I have experienced mild forms of it, but it did not make me panic.

What happens is, I will wake up and feel cold all over (duh it's winter), but it's deeper than that; I actually feel tingly, numb, and nervous.  The next thing you know everything seems to be going really fast around me, I start panicking and my head feels tingly as well as the rest of my body, then my heart starts beating really fast and things start getting blurry.  There are a few things I think are contributing to it:

• I'm taking Zoloft (in 2007 when this happened I was actually trying to ween myself off of it)
• It has happened after catching up on sleep that I didn't get the day before (the night before I only got 2 hours of sleep... ugh)
• It has happened after I ate really really crappy/toxic after a pattern of eating healthy.

It seems as if my answers are right in front of me, however it makes me really sad because I honestly just want to feel better and not have to worry about these things.  So many people I know just eat crappy all the time and don't care and they feel fine (or at least I think they do).  I suffer from anxiety disorder and am very very sensitive to changes in my body.  If I ween myself off of zoloft again then I have to worry that I may end up falling back into that horrible worrisome/anxious feeling that cripple me everyday (not to mention the unnecessary thoughts and feeling loss of reality).  P.s. that has been happening lately even though I am on zoloft and it scares me even more (usually when I am not getting enough sleep).

Back to the point; after I calmed down this morning and my body felt better again, I decided to look for the freshest foods available here at my parents house.  I am on vacation and have really gotten off track, but luckily they have tons of fruits and veggies but they all usually get thrown away.  So the other day I posted a question on Koya Webb's wall (Koya is a raw fitness model); I told her that my parents wanted me to throw away this whole bag of tangerines and I wanted to do something with them.  She told me that I could blend them with bananas and make orange dream ice cream.  Yum!  So that is what I had for breakfast!

When I tell you that was the yummiest breakfast I have ever had, I am not lying!  It felt like I was having ice cream and that I was doing something "bad".... but a few bites in I felt full and fulfilled.  The bittersweet contrast was that my sick father who has at least five major health problems was sitting right across from me at the table is eating a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich, as well as a big bowl of cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast. (More on my father later, but it's a very sad situation to see people who poison themselves when the problems they are facing are due to the "sad" [Standard.American.Diet] that they are following when they know it isn't working for them).

So today I am inspired and motivated to treat my body in the best way possible in any way I can.  I started cutting out dairy last month and now I am going to cut out processed sugar because I am sure I must have eaten my weight in it yesterday (I was in Tijuana and there is soooooo much candy and junk food to eat over there).  Today I am detoxing and will only eat raw foods until dinner time.  At dinner I will just eat a light cooked dinner.  Tomorrow I have to attend a memorial service and I am not sure how I will do eating after, but I am going to slowly start making my transition to the raw foods diet again.  It is the best possible way to live and there are so many wonderful people out there to look up to online and in the community.  I just have to surround myself with them.

A few more days on vacation.  I hope to blog here as much as possible, especially when I move to Columbus in a few days, where I will start a new life; I am very excited about this transition!  Thanks for reading and happy 2011!!!!